Sebastian
I’m going to go bald.
At the twentieth or so time swiping my hand through my hair, the thought hits me out
of nowhere. My aggravation to the call that is holding me captive in my own home the
reason for my newfound soon-to-be baldness. Sheila called me over and over again
yesterday and when I was declining her millionth phone call, a text popped up,
threatening to come here and deal with me in person had me promising her that I would
call her soon.
The last thing I needed was Sheila butting into my business.
After our kiss on the mountain yesterday, Violet didn’t say much, but the slight smile
that didn’t leave her lips had me feeling okay about what transpired between us. We held
hands as we met one of the instructors on his ATV so he could take us back to the
building where my Jeep was parked. When I dropped her off at her apartment and she
declined my dinner invitation because of plans with her friends, I begged her to see me
again today.
I’ve never begged a woman to see me in my entire life, but it couldn’t be helped.
My gut had churned when she turned me down and my manly-man pride had to have some sort of definite plan with her. I couldn’t stand not knowing the next time I would see her.
Fuck, I’m so screwed.
This isn’t the plan, not at all. I’m not supposed to be feeling anything toward
anyone, I’m not supposed to get or be attached to someone and definitely not this
fucking fast. I’m not ready for commitment like that. I’m only thirty, I have loads of time
to find the one.
What if you already have?
I actually scoff out loud at the voice in my head, but I don’t refute it. Mostly because
I’m on the phone and talking to myself would be a serious thing I’d probably need to look
into.
Or is it because it’s true?
Stop fucking talking to yourself!
Pinching my eyes closed, I collapse on my leather chair, my favorite that sits in front of
the gorgeous mountain view. Sheila is still rambling on and on and I know her assistant, Cade or Cape or something stupid, is on the line, quickly jotting down this conversations bullet points for future reference. Otherwise, these phone calls would really be pointless.
In other words, this could have been an email.
“So, you’ll come back for the charity event on Friday.” The words have me coming
back to the conversation, Sheila barely makes me say much which makes it hard to
concentrate and again, this could have been an email.
“Which event was that for?”
“The Children’s hospital one, you begged me to get you in with a giant donation and
loads of schmoozing. Though when they saw your donation there wasn’t much
schmoozing that needed doing.”
“Right.” I hate charity events. Mostly because they’re all black-tie, expensive as fuck
dinners that are filled to the brim with rich motherfuckers comparing their yachts, but also
because they felt like they did nothing whatsoever for the people they were supposedly
for.
I would much rather have an event where I got to go hang out with the people that I
was donating money too. Kids in the children’s hospital were awesome, they were strong
little fuckers. I don’t know how they— or their parents for that matter— could stay strong
when dealing with the shit hand they were dealt but they fucking did it with their heads
held high.
“Are you wanting a date? Chad, find Levi a date.” Chad. Hm. I was close... ish.
“No, I don’t want a date.” I especially don’t want one of Sheila’s on speed-dial model
types. I’m not in the mood for anymore of that fake shit.
Because you found the one.
I was seriously going to kill my inner voice. Seriously.
“Are you bringing someone?”
I think about it for a moment. How awesome it would be to take Violet to these
dinners, she would make them so much more enjoyable. We’ve been out a total of two times and I’m already wanting to ask her to black-tie dinners?
Fuck.
~
“What? No mountain climbing? No eating scorpions just to see if we could? No
bungee-jumping?” Violet’s hand is tightly grasped in my own as we drive to our destination. I love that I can just grab ahold of it and not have to ask, it’s stupid simple but I can’t help but love it.
Her sarcastic comments about me taking her to a normal dinner make me grin. “Psh, bungee-jumping is fourth date material, not third.”
“Ha ha.” She sputters sarcastically and I raise a brow in her direction. “That’a joke
right?”
I just shrug innocently.
“Sebastian...” There’s a warning tone in her voice and I smile wider, all my teeth
showing.
“Don’t ruin the surprise, Vi. It’s all handled.”
She groans and then lets out an exasperated laugh. “You’re not going to go easy on
me, are you?”
I hold back my ‘that’s what she said’ joke and shrug, not giving anything away.
I picked up Violet tonight and was shocked to see her eyes lined lightly with eyeliner, making her eyes appear bigger, hair hanging long down her back which I love more than I should admit. She’s wearing a form-fitted black dress with a jean jacket on, her signature— as she calls it—Vans are adorning her feet.
In the small amount of time that I’ve known her, I’ve seen her sense of style and the outfit screamed Violet to me. She isn’t an uppity girl who has to have massive amounts of makeup on, she doesn’t have some unnatural tan or sky-high heels. She is one hundred percent herself and it makes it hard for me not to push her further than she’s ready for.
Trust me, I want to. I want to so bad. But something is holding me back.
I want to take my time with her, to learn all about her, to make her see me for me and not for the persona that I have to put on for other people.
The persona she has no idea about, which was why I am taking her out of the main
part of Vail and hitting a restaurant that is rarely busy. I called ahead and asked that I
be treated anonymously, the owner assured me that I would be treated with respect to
my privacy and I pray he is telling the truth.
I know I have to tell her soon. I know that I’m going to regret not just telling her right
away, but I’m dreading her looking at me another way. I don’t want her to look at me
and see some famous guy, I just want to be Sebastian.
I could see my Gran shaking her head at me in disappointment.
I tighten my hand around hers as I turn into the restaurant parking lot, I’ll tell her when I get back after California.
But for now, I just want to enjoy this night with her.